I am a big reader of eastern astrology and signs of the Chinese Zodiac. This year has been the year of the Monkey, and boy what a crazy chaotic year it has been. I haven’t even had a chance to catch my breath before something else has been blown onto my path. This is a brief summary in reflection of all that this year has brought.
However despite all this instability the year has brought, I feel like I have personally grown more than ever. I can see throughout all the practices and working with all you wonderful people that the instability that everyone else has been subjected too, has created tremendous change for most of you too.
I would like to take this moment to share with you some great ups and downs of 2016, to bring some perspectives to you all.
Many of you may have already read my reflection of 2014 (click here for the link). This reflection was a real personal experience from a lot of health challenges that I have had my whole life, and how I have reached the other side of them.
My aim here was to help each person I have worked with have some insight into my own challenges and how I deal with them. Also to give you a different perspective on how to look at the challenges you have in your lives and how to work through them.
Carrying on from the reflection of 2014, which outlined my suffering with my digestion for most of my life. I cut the ties finally and said goodbye to Dairy. From the 1st of January 2016, I finally did it. It was a challenging food to eliminate, because dairy is in everything.
I had eaten so much of it over last Christmas that I knew it had to go, because I had bloated up more than ever. I haven’t eaten dairy knowingly since. Having said that I have made a few mistakes where I have trusted the label of food such as (sushi – from Tesco’s, little did I know they used milk products to help the rice stick together) – crazy foods that you wouldn’t expect to find dairy in, but I have finally learnt to check ALL labels.
Whilst my digestion has been the best it has ever been this year, I am still looking for ways to improve things. Towards the latter part of the year, I stumbled across a process called a liver flush. During this process you drink a potion that aims to flush gallstones from your liver.
The liver plays a key role in your digestion, but since starting the liver flushing process I have had more energy, less sluggish digestion, less tired in the mornings, energy lasting throughout the whole day, less bloating after eating, more energy after eating, instead of feeling tired.
Whilst during my first flush experience, I only had a few green stones; the second flush was by far the most successful. I had over 100+ dark black stones about 1-2cm in length. Since this flush I have really felt permanent benefits. I’m sleeping more solid, loads of energy, especially in the mornings; wake up more readily before my alarm, and earlier in general.
On a more emotional front, 2016 has been a year that has centered on getting married, and fully committing to John (my husband). The build up to the wedding and the organization involved, as we choose to Marry abroad in Italy, has been intense. Incredibly rewarding experience, and a great way to re-affirm our love and commitment to each other over the 10 years we have been together.
During November my dad had been very ill with the flu. I had threatened to come down to entrain him, as it had been 4 weeks with no signs of recovery. Towards the end of November I received a call from his partner Lesley, telling me that he had been diagnosed with a brain tumor, and it wasn’t the flu at all. He had been taken to hospital after he had kept falling over and loosing his balance for no reason.
The following day he had a full CT scan, which revealed cancer in his liver, pancreas, and lungs. So we had gone from thinking my dad was just having some flu symptoms to being diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, and close to deaths door.
The neurosurgeons were wondering whether to offer him surgery to remove the brain tumor, and then offer him a course of chemotherapy to see if that would prolong his life a little in order to spend a bit more time with his family. He went in for surgery just before Christmas and whilst the initial recovery was ok, the recovery on the whole was short lived, and he went down hill rapidly after that. He was transferred to a hospice as he needed 24/7 support after that and was unable to return home. He passed away on Sunday 12th February 2017, aged 63.
The reality of the situation has been tough. It has been surreal to think that only a few months ago he was walking me down the aisle, and now he is gone.
Although death is a reality that all of us will have to face at some point, and will have to go through with another loved one and family member. I never imagined this to have happened so soon.
The initial shock was unreal. I went straight away to get entrained after crying endlessly. I had a battle with wanting to help fix the situation and just being his daughter and respecting his path in life, and what he may have wanted.
After a long chat over two days, he chose not to make any changes in his life. He wanted to keep everything the same, and eventually he chose to invest his faith in the surgery and investing only in time. Which as it turned out, didn’t pay off, like we had hoped.
So whilst the start to my 2017 has been full of instability, it has definitely allowed me to reflect on my own existence and whether I’m living my life to my own potential, and enjoying every second. Whilst I am very saddened by my dad, as I really felt like he had more to give and bring to this life, he just didn’t have the tools in his box to do that.
I have rejoiced in the fact that he was my father, and I feel fully honored that I chose him. I can count endlessly the gifts that he has given to me so far in my life, and I am proud that I can take them forwards into the future. My opportunity is to more fully embrace my independence and ensure that I fully energize the gifts that he has created for me, and ensure that I pay that forwards now and in my future, for others.
I still have many moments of sadness and anger at feeling my own personal loss, but all I can ensure is that when I experience those feelings, I make sure I fully commit to expressing them, when they surface. I know that over time these will become less and less, until I am left with the memories, the happiness and the love that we shared.
Whilst on one hand the universe has closed one chapter of my life, I feel at the same time it has given birth to a new chapter. I am enjoying riding the instability, and I KNOW the energy that has been liberated will give rise to something great, and I can’t wait.
Here’s to rejoicing in life, celebrating what we have, and looking forward to what’s round the corner.
I hope this 2017 brings enough instability to liberate the energy needed to propel you in your future. Whilst I know you are all experiencing instability on some level, know that there are always gifts to be harnessed, whether you can see them now or whether they will surface at some point in the future. With every experience of instability know that there is a new level of stability round the corner.
I feel on some level this will be a year to celebrate and spend time with loved ones and family, and rejoicing in the people around you.
Yours in love and health for 2017,